Covered and Crowned: The Power of Honouring Your Husband

Honour is not a small thing. It is one of the quietest and strongest forces in a home.

This is Part 1 of our Marriage Series, Building a Kingdom Home. Over six parts we will look at honour, spiritual warfare, intimacy, meekness, standing in faith for an unsaved husband, and walking as one flesh with one purpose. We begin where Scripture begins with the wife: her crown.

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. (Proverbs 12:4, ESV)”

Many of us were raised to see marriage as a negotiation. Keep score. Protect yourself. Never let him think he is in charge. Correct him in public so he knows his place.

It sounds strong. But look at the fruit. Homes full of tension. Husbands who have stopped trying. Wives who are exhausted from carrying what was never theirs to carry.

The Word offers a different way. Not a weaker way. A wiser one.

Honour is not pretending he is perfect. It is not silence when something is wrong. It is not flattery or fear.

Honour is choosing to treat your husband according to the position God has given him, not only according to his performance on a given day. It is respect that is given, not earned and withdrawn.

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33, ESV)”

Notice that Paul asks the husband to love and the wife to respect. Each is given the thing the other most needs. A man who is respected at home grows into the leader he was created to be.

Proverbs calls the excellent wife a crown. A crown is not hidden. It is worn. It tells everyone who sees it that this man has been entrusted with something precious.

When you speak well of your husband to your children, your friends and your family, you are placing a crown on his head. When you mock him, roll your eyes or tear him down in front of others, Scripture says it is like rottenness in his bones.

“The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. (Proverbs 14:1, ESV)”

Every word is a brick. You are either building or tearing down. There is no neutral ground.

Peter wrote to wives whose husbands were not walking in obedience. His counsel was not to nag, lecture or manipulate. It was to live.

“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. (1 Peter 3:1-2, ESV)”

Your conduct preaches louder than your corrections. A respectful, pure and steady wife becomes a living message in her own home.

“But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. (1 Peter 3:4, ESV)”

This is the meekness at the heart of the name Anavé. Strength under the control of God. Not loud, not weak, but deeply rooted.

When a wife honours her husband, she guards her home spiritually. Contempt opens doors. Honour closes them. The enemy loves a divided house, because a house divided against itself cannot stand.

Honour does not mean accepting abuse or harm. If you are unsafe, please seek help and wise counsel. Biblical honour is never a call to endure danger.

• Speak well of him in front of your children and friends.
• Thank him for one specific thing each day.
• Ask his opinion before making a decision that affects the family.
• Bring concerns to him privately and calmly, never in public.
• Greet him warmly when he comes home, before the list of problems.
• Pray for him by name, every day, before you speak about him to anyone else.

• Where have I been keeping score instead of building?
• What words have I spoken about my husband this week, and were they a crown or rottenness?
• In what one area can I choose honour, even before I feel it?

Father, thank You for my husband and for the covenant You have made between us. Forgive me for the times I have torn down with my words what You asked me to build. Give me a gentle and quiet spirit, strong in You. Teach me to honour him as unto You. Let my conduct speak of Your goodness in our home. Cover him, lead him and draw him close to Your heart. Make me a crown to him all the days of our life. In Jesus' name, amen.